赤い赤い唄を唄うよ

picture for Fahrenheit 451 book cover

何にもうまくいかない。。。やりたいこともできないし、やらなきゃいけないこともうまくこなせない。。。。きっと、運に頼りっぱなしだったから、いきなりつけが回ってきたんだと思ってます。もし、周りに人がいなかったら、自分はどうなるだろう。もうここにいないんじゃないかっていう考えがずっと頭の中をぐるぐる。親の誕生日だったので、電話をかけました。向こうは、忙しいんだからいいのにと言ってましたが、学校がうまく言ってないということは言えませんでした。学費を払ってくれてる親に申し訳なくて、あまり話せませんでした。そう思うと、自分はつくづく生きてる意味が無いんだなとか。それで、この曲を聞いて、ちょっと共感したので、歌詞とリンク載せます。こまんさんが作ってくださった、Badbyeです。私と同じ問題を抱えてる人たちにも聞いてもらいたいです。

　by　koman 

過去の少年と手を繋いで
仲良く歩く美化道
他の奴らの相手は
また今日も変わっていく
そんな人生が楽しいかい？
僕の人生が正しいよ
だってだって僕はずっと
一途なんだ偉いでしょ？

忘れました達成感
失いました恋愛感情
頼りなのは過去の
僕だけ

歴史を止める唄を唄うよ
僕の僕のこの左の手首から
赤い赤い唄を唄うよ
心の涙が雫になって
落ちていくのは
この星

歴史を刻む一人になって
どれほど世界を変えれただろう
手を離すのもできないのに
馬鹿なこというなよ

こんな人生寂しいです
満足なんてしてませんよ
でもでも今までの僕に納得はしてるよ

僕は変わりたくないから
僕は変わらないままでいるのに
周りが変わるから
僕だけが変わっているみたい

大嫌いな世界を見てきた
僕の僕のこのふたつの瞳から
青い青い唄を唄うよ
本当の涙が雫になって
落ちていくのは

皮肉にもこの
僕の嫌いな
たったひとつ
望まれて生まれた命が
確かにある場所で

大嫌いな自分の唄を唄うよ
僕の僕のこの冷たい喉から
黒い黒い唄を唄うよ
本当の言葉が鋭くなって
突き刺さるのを見ててよ

逃げたくて
ただ逃げたくて
僕の僕のこの
たったひとつの身体から
赤い赤い唄を叫ぶよ
本当の自分を自分で絶って
堕ちてくのも
この星
この地球(ほし)
ひとりぼっち


個人的にはこまんさんのと花たんさんのが好きです。花たん→http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GhPTUSCV7Y

桜色だあああw

これ、結構いいと思うw　Akehimeさんの絵です。

ロスに来てたから、冗談まじりで描いてました。

春だなーと（笑

そして、これw

やばいですw　最初はやっぱりpvのできだったけど、途中からはまりました。

これからも、どんどん聞いてこうと思いますw

My Future and Dream.

Yaaaayyyyy finally done with my bike!!! :P

It was my last day of my Form class and English Composition Class. 
I feel like these two inspired me a lot about my future career.
Beginning of the quarter, I really wanted to work at a film production (preferably an animation studio), but now something inside of me is changing. 


I went through many emotional stress through this quarter. Getting upset about my essay, my work, and myself. It was very hard to go through these things without my English 3 professor (L.M.)
She listened to me and encouraged me several times during the quarter. All of my confident came from her. I really appreciate how she supported me both academically and emotionally. 


In my form class, my instructor (R.I.) inspired me from his different stories. He knows almost EVERYTHING. Its not just about America, but everywhere. I want to be like that and have a lot of knowledge about the world. That is where the art is created. As my instructor says, "research is the key to design." I do agree, but research on the internet is not enough. Like him, I need to get out to the world, feel, taste, see, and hear new objects and ideas. And taking his class was the first step of actually going through the world. This might lead me to a career of designer but also could influence my dream to work at the film studio. 


To both of you. Thank you. You have influenced my life significantly.


"Reasearch and meeting new people/ideas is the best way to understand something"

Sunshine Blue :P

It was a very nice day when I went out to eat this afternoon... but after all, I was locked in my room working on homeworks..... its like this for the whole entire month already...

Finally, I am done with my Essay 2!!! But I have like a lot more to do -sigh-

Here is my drawing homework that I did today..... I failed again..... or maybe its my photograph's fault.

Either way, it is pretty off..... I can't draw....... TAT

Thinking about these homeworks is driving me crazy these days. I didn't really notice until my English teacher told me about it during her office hours. I just thought that I suck at controlling my emotion, but apparently, it also because of stress too. I should stop worrying about it too much. If I keep on spending so much time on every single writing and projects, I will eventually die (as in mental death). I hope you guys are doing alright :D

Work Hard, you are almost at Spring Break!!!!!!

Croissant Colors :P

Soooo. My FORM project, which is making croissant, is due on Monday...

Last week monday, I finished this to bring to class.

whoops... it looks blurly... srry my camera is pretty old LOL

this was a failure because it was very wet when i brought it to class...... 

 then yesterday (Friday) i kept myself up until 3am to finish this.

 but the problem was, when my roommate came back, she was like....

"the color looks ok but it looks weird.... like.... very hard....isn't it supposed to be more soft??"

so today, I went down to one of the dinning place and got a croissant (that i ate).

by modeling that and observing the 3 week old croissant (after i ate the other one) i made this.

i hope it looks clear (if you compare to the first attempt) that this looks better than the one before...
if you want to see the actual one go google them :P

material that i used: newspaper, glue, plaster of paris, gauze, acrylic paints, toiletpaper, paper towel, masking tape, and a thin paper to take off your face oil??? (some people knows, its called "aburatorigami" in japanese)

so this is my weekend so far..... keeping myself inside the room to finish this thing. haha. (srry for a lazy title LOL)

Red and Black Checkerboard

Look at this. It took me 5 hours to finish this. I did not get much sleep because of this. This project is supposed to be due on Tuesday..... so I hope people are wondering why I killed my sleep to finish this project..... its because THE TA TOLD US TO FINISH IT BY LAST THURSDAY...... hahahahaha i know.  and here it is :D

I went to the mall today with amanda and got two mickey T-shirt, a ring, gauze, and ink cartridges.  The mall was not as big as I thought it would be but it was good for me since i was working on the homework since the beginning of the school :P Now I kind of want to go to the beach... but I will leave that for later.

Tomorrow will be my working day.... -sigh-

I hope you will all have a great MLK day.

Peach!!!

This is what I am doing in my drawing class :D Isn't it great??? lol jk.
obviously, my cup failed... like seriously. well i forgot to measure the cup with the pencil method thing but yeah. but i like my cube with grid :D yay for an art major!

arg.... i dont want to work on my essay.... but i need tooo -sigh- i just spent another hour looking and surfing internet.... but there is the moment where you dont want to do anything..... i want more... drawing stuffs.... (no wonder im done with my drawing homework which is due on tuesday and my essay and other stuff is due monday :P) i guess ill read and think about my essay thing today.... i can start on my essay tmrw..... i hope.

灰色っぽい水色。

©トガシ

明けましておめでとうございます。新年早々ですが、最近、SPECにハマりました。やばい。神木隆之助くんが可愛い。なんか、学校が始まったことや雨が降っててびしょ濡れになったことなんかすぐ忘れられるw　インターネットでSPECに関連する写真などを探してたら、めちゃめちゃうまい神木くんを発見したので、のせます。見ての通り、私の作品ではありません。ああ、こんな風に絵を書きたいなー。

あと、もう一つお気に入りのSPECの絵も載せます。

注意！！ SPECのネタバレです。

©水口